I am sitting here on this fine Wednesday morning not feeling particularly HAPPY. All the optimism, excitement, sense of purpose and good intentions seem to have floated away into the frigid airs here in Montréal and I am left feeling, well, kind of BLAH.

Why?!! How could I have gone from being filled with SO MUCH lightness and hope a few days ago to sitting here with aching muscles and bones and being all grumbly and cranky and feeling so removed from how I really want to feel? What is WRONG with me? I asked myself this question today, multiple times in fact. And then I found my answer. Are you ready for it? Are you?


There is nothing “wrong” with me. I am perfectly un-perfect in my grumbly crankiness. Not every second of every day is happy. In fact, how freaking BORING would that be? How sad would it be to not know the opposite of happy, so when HAPPY does show up in all it’s glory we can actually recognize it and love it and appreciate the hell out of it?

So folks, today I fully embrace my cranky ass with deep love and appreciation for I know that my HAPPY is coming back, one day (hopefully soon!), and when she shows her lovely face and warms my un-perfect soul, I will hold her close and say THANK YOU for being here.

My wish for you, you NOVEL LIFERS, is to embrace it all. Find the blessing in the mess, the bad mood, the wrong turn, and then know that something wonderful is on the other side or a bit further down the road and you’ll be so HAPPY when you meet it again.

peace and love. always.

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I love teaching my clients specific skills and tools to help support them on their journeys to living with more JOY. So I wanted to share a couple of coaching tools to help YOU move forward into the holiday season with clear intentions about how to tap into the holiday spirit all season long!

The holidays can bring up A LOT of varied emotions for people…stress, joy, exhaustion, frustration, merriment, irritation, anxiety, and overload, to name a few! Throw in a couple of drunk relatives, rich foods that leave us feeling bloated and hyper-stimulated kids and, well…it can be a recipe for disaster! So what can you do to start off the holiday season with calm and excitement rather than dread?
Know your END GAME*. Ask yourself the following questions and then write down your answers:

  1. What feeling(s) do I want to capture this holiday season?
  2. Which traditions do I honor that bring up this feeling(s) for me?
  3. Are there any new traditions that get me excited or elicit this feeling(s)?
  4. Which traditions do not support this feeling(s)?
  5. Who do I want to celebrate with?
  6. How do I want my home to look and feel during this holiday season?
  7. If I were brave enough, I would (I will)…

Once you’ve written down your answers, write out your End Game: the Who, What, Where, When, Why and How of your ideal holiday season. I also highly recommend you ask those closest to you to come up with their End Game too and see how they all fit (or don’t fit) together. It will clarify if your vision is congruent with those you love and give you insight into how to move forward if not.

Now that your End Game is clear, you can choose to support it by doing the following:

  • Honor the feeling state you named as you approach all your activities this holiday season by doing the next step;
  • Check in with yourself with each and every “have to”, “need to” and “should” that inevitably comes up with invites to parties, arts and crafts sales, dinners, gift-exchanges, traveling, office shin-digs, cookie baking, play dates, shopping for gifts, volunteer work, etc.
  • Does the activity elicit your feeling state? If not, don’t do it. Sound too simple? It’s really not. Honoring the feeling you want to have helps give you a touchstone to use when determining how to spend your precious time and energy in the whirlwind of the holiday season. It helps you live in alignment with YOUR vision for YOUR holiday season.
  • And last but not least, the best part is you will show up for your loved ones in a state closer to JOY then the angry, hurried, resentful, harried person none of us likes to be, especially during the holidays! 

I hope you enjoyed learning about this little but powerful tool! I invite you to use it in all aspects of your life.  And I would love to hear about your experiences, so please share!

For the month of December, I am offering a special discount on all my coaching packages. Book a package of 4, 6 or 8 sessions before January 1st and receive a 25% discount!


*Adapted from Susan Hyatt, Master Coach, and Dr. Martha Beck

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