I wrote this text in May 2014. I have left it unedited and as raw as it was originally written (save for some aesthetic touches which are important to the eye). It explains my journey to how I came to coaching. Even though it’s only been 3.5 years since I wrote these words, I have grown and changed so much since then. The journey of entrepreneurship and coaching will do that to someone (HA, understatement of the year!). And yet, I still very much see myself, the good ole’ ordinary me. Every last bit of my extraordinarily ordinary self, so open, ready and earnest. I do love her.
All I want is an “ordinary” life…an extraordinarily beautiful, inspiring, joyful, exciting, fun, awesome, meaningful, loving, and happy life. And with this ordinary life of mine, I want to help people live their own extraordinarily “ordinary” lives too.
I believe that life is simple. It is made up of a thousand different moments, day after day after day that then turn into year after year after year. And these moments tend to be the most ordinary things…the sound of your toddler’s feet pitter-pattering down the hallway; sipping your morning coffee; having dinner with friends; going for an ice cream on a hot, summer day; reading the paper; taking a shower; preparing for a trip; getting ready for work; lounging in bed…whatever ordinary looks like in your life.
But here’s the thing, THESE MOMENTS ARE WHAT MAKE OUR LIVES EXTRAORDINARY when your life is your own creation. When you live from a place of authenticity, you are clearer about what makes your life feel extraordinary. YOU get to decide what feels like fun, what tastes delicious, what you need, what you want, how you want to spend your days, hours, minutes. Your life becomes extraordinary because you realize that you have the power, brilliance and capabilities to make your life and soul shine from within.
You see… here’s my truth. I believe that life is magical and we become awakened to this magic when our soul’s mission finally comes into full clarity. I believe the universe really does conspire to help us live our best lives when we take those leaps of faith as we listen to the whispering of our soul’s yearnings and start putting what we truly want from life into action. I believe that life is messy, complicated and wonderful, all at the same time. Life is unfair, it hurts, it SUCKS sometimes, but it is so damn beautiful that it can take our breath away.
And I believe from the depths of my soul that when we choose to create the lives we deeply yearn for, we make the world a better place. When we share our authentic selves, from a place of full vulnerability, courage, fear and love, we ignite the same desire in others and then the world slowly becomes lit-up from within, with people going about their ordinary lives from places of extraordinary brilliance…we’re all just trying to do our thing, our way and be respected and loved and accepted for who we are and what we have to offer.
Step out of your own shadow and into your brilliant light, I say!
My search for authenticity
I would like to say that my quest for authenticity began young, as I am now able to reflect back on my rebellious youth from a compassionate perspective. I tried desperately to be heard, loved and appreciated, but adolescent angst, insecurity and the deep need to “belong” yet “stand apart” certainly muddied my waters for a few years. Some might say that I looked for acceptance in the wrong places, with the wrong people, through the wrong actions. Maybe. Maybe not.
The turning point in my search for authenticity came on an ordinary day as I sat in front of the man I thought I would one day marry after I had asked him how he saw his life five years down the road. (I was always a dreamer and lover of these deep and meaningful questions!)
What were some of his dreams? What did he yearn for in his life?
BUT…he was unable to answer.
HE WAS UNABLE TO ANSWER!
Nothing came out.
Not. One. Dream. Not. One. Idea. Nothing.
He was unable to answer…and my soul whispered, rather loudly, “Ok girl, this is NOT feeling good. I think it may be time to get moving and living and start dreaming about a different kind of a life.” And I did pretty quickly after that. After 6 years together, I moved away to start living my dream and we slowly fell apart a few months later. (Suffice it to say, there were lots of other issues going on here, but this was my incredibly defined and memorable tipping point.)
The next pivotal moment on my journey came while I was traveling around the world on an 8-month backpacking trip with my sister. (BEST TIME EVER, BTW!) I met a man in New Zealand, who I consider my spiritual soul mate, who taught me very simply how to be still and then “follow my heart, be true to myself”. Something clicked inside my soul when I heard this incredibly simple yet deeply profound statement and it propelled me into a new way of being in the world. I have embodied this mantra every since (and I liked it so much that I actually got it tattooed on my leg in Chinese characters while in Thailand during our travels, much to the horror of my poor parents!) And as soon as I started to live this way, my life changed in miraculous ways.
Newly single and loving every minute of it, BAM!, I met the man who would become my husband while traveling in the Greek islands and yes, it was as romantic as you can imagine; moved to Montréal with my man and found a “perfect” Master’s program where I was able to write my Master’s thesis while doing actual academic research on authenticity, needless to say I was in HEAVEN! (The abstract can be found here for those interested: http://philpapers.org/rec/BOSLTG).
And then I continued on my path towards living my full and lovely life, which slowly filled up with a dog, friends, family, work, trips, homes, renovations, children, yada, yada, yada. It wasn’t always pretty or easy or fun, as I had some very hard times in between but it was my lovely little life. Until…another pivotal moment arrived, and then another and another…until I could no longer look away and ignore the whispers of my soul.