Holy Moly!! Did September just knock you out like it did me?
It started off with so much energy! I was PUMPED about launching my new program, getting back into my groove with the kiddos back in school and doing my thing! 😉
But to be totally transparent, by the end of the month I had a sore throat and a cold on the way, the remnants of which are STILL lingering. And I was exhausted! Like deeply, deeply tired.
I am working with a business coach (because we all need support, accountability and help to make our dreams come true!) and as part of my work with her I declare my intentions for the week on every Monday. It’s a powerful activity that keeps me focused on my goals and intentions (duh). Anyway, I let her know a few weeks back that I was feeling “like I’m running on fumes and my intention is to rest”.
I felt courageous and proud that I was giving myself permission to REST. Yay me!
Except, here’s the kicker. I didn’t rest. Because you know what I realized?
I’m a Fake Rester. YES, a FAKE RESTER.
I think I know how to rest and I like to convince myself that I allow for rest, but I actually rarely ever really rest. As in deeply rest and do nothing.
Can you relate? Are you able to just sit and do nothing?
Because up until a few weeks ago, resting for me meant:
- laying down while doing a guided meditation
- relaxing in my living room while reading
- baking while listening to a podcast
- sipping a glass of wine while browsing Facebook
- going for a walk (!)
You see, I realized there is a HUGE difference between doing something restful/not feeling “busy” and actually resting.
In fact, turns out I have a lot of old beliefs and judgments about people who rest (as in lay down, close their eyes and take a little snooze in the middle of the day). Even if it’s just for 2 minutes.
Here are some of my default thoughts that come up when my husband says he’s going to lay down for a few minutes and close his eyes (warning, they are not nice):
“Wow, must be nice to feel like you can just lay down… in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DAY!”
“Huh, look at that, he thinks he can just LAY DOWN? Who does he think he is?!”
“So it looks like I’ll be the one to do ____________ (fill in the blank) and all the other shit that needs to get done around here!”
And it goes on and on and on, if I let it. Does this sound familiar? Do you have similar thoughts?
But thanks to the awareness I have about my own thoughts, I am able to catch myself pretty quickly when these snarky judgments pop up. Because I actually truly believe that resting is essential to our well-being.
So why don’t I do it? HA HA HA! Great question.
Well, the thing is I really thought I was resting when I was slowing my pace down, minimizing my distractions and activities and doing things that felt “restful”.
And, there’s more. (Man, it’s hard to be honest!)
When I’m really honest, it’s because I carry around, deep inside my brain, the belief that there is always something to do and that “resting” is for lazy people. Yikes, I said it!
Carrying this limiting belief around let’s me relax just enough so I am still doing something. Because when I am doing, I am being productive, active and engaged. And those are good things to be, right? Who wants to be lazy? Oh, god forbid anyone be perceived as lazy or unproductive!
So where does this leave me? You? Us?
Since this horrifying but enlightening discovery about myself being a Fake Rester (seriously, I was so shocked to learn this about myself, although when I brought my realization to my husband and sister they both gave me the “Well, duh” look! Oops, sometimes our loved ones know us better than we know ourselves!)…I am whole-heartedly embracing the practice of resting.
I am letting myself be a beginner at this too, because we all have to start where we’re at, right?
My morning routine still sees me getting up before everyone else, but instead of jumping into doing my meditation, gratitude practice, and journaling, I now set the timer for at least 5 min and just sit there. Doing nothing. Resting. Nowhere to go, nothing TO DO, except sit and be.
So far, it feels delicious, comforting, and indulgent and very much like I am taking good care of my body, mind and soul. And, HAHAHA, I have more energy. Gee, what a shock! 🙂
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this! How do you rest? Do you allow yourself to rest or are you also a Fake Rester? It’s ok, we can help each other out!
More and more, I feel drawn to living a life built upon PLEASURE. And while doing and being in action is so important to and for our lives (I am a go-getter!), so is stillness, rest, quiet and nourishing ourselves deeply.
It’s the in-between that calls to me…that sweet spot between productivity and pleasure.
My new mantra (discovered with my coach) is My pleasure IS productive.
How freaking juicy is that? It’s worth repeating.
My pleasure IS productive. I invite you to find your pleasure. And rest if you need to.
PS. isn’ it cool to learn more about ourselves? I love this process and discovery. It is endlessly fascinating.